I
may be 28 years old but I’m only recently discovering the wonderful
world of vaginas. I mean, I’ve enjoyed them sexually for a long time,
but I was never really one who wanted to know much about my lady parts.
Perhaps exhibited by referring to them as things like my lady
parts. Sure, we all take the necessary steps when we have a is my vagina normal? freakout, but aside from the basics, we probably don’t know how awesome they actually are.
I just wasn’t into self-exploration or understanding periods or
anything. The only real exploration I did was lying on the bathroom
floor at 12 figuring out how to use tampons because I was terrified I
would get my period when I was at my dad’s instead of my mom’s. Then we
basically went our separate ways, except for the sex.
Vaginas are effing amazing.
And I’m embarrassed that some sort of weird body shame kept me from
learning or acknowledging that earlier. Now I am their biggest
cheerleader, and am constantly learning things about them that I didn’t realize they were capable of.
Seriously, it’s not all just sex and period and babies and that stuff.
Don’t believe me? Here are eight awesome things your vagina can do.
1. Clean Itself
Vaginas are amazing at cleaning themselves– that’s a large part of
what’s happening with that odorless discharge you get, it’s sloughing
all the stuff you don’t need. And you should leave it to it’s own
devices. All those cleaning products not only perpetuate a horrible myth
that vaginas are dirty, they can cause health proclaims. According to Women’s Health: “Problems
arise when you use products that alter the pH levels, causing it to
increase into an unhealthy range, which screws with the balance of good
and bad bacteria. The result: you’re more susceptible to infections,
irritations, and sensitivity—all of which can make you more vulnerable to contracting STDs. ”
2. Get A Boner-ish
Well, sort of. The fun isn’t all for boys, you know. When you’re aroused the increased blood flow means that the clitoris becomes engorged and firm, similar to an erection. OK, it’s not exactly the same as a boner, but it’s actually better because…
3. Feel Twice As Much As A Penis
That’s right, our clit contains over 8,000 nerve endings, more than anywhere else in the body. A penis has half that. So size isn’t everything.
4. Change Color
Not like a chameleon, unfortunately. Or like a mood ring. How amazing
would it be if your vagina was like a mood ring? But they do come in a load of different colors and some can change color naturally with age.
5. Expand…Like A Lot
When aroused vaginas expand through a process known as vaginal tenting, which means it can double in size. Dr. Herbenick told BuzzFeed that “when women become aroused, there’s more muscular tension in the body… that muscular tension draws the uterus upward, creating more space in the vagina lengthwise.” More room for fun. Also for babies.
6. Pump Iron
Vaginas are hella strong. I mean, that sort of makes sense as they
can push a living, breathing human thing out them. But not only are they
naturally strong, you can pump iron to make them even more buff (and
make your orgasms even more intense). Start with contracting and then,
if you want more of a challenge, you can even try vaginal weights. Take that, cross fit.
7. Talk To You
I don’t mean queefing, although they can certainly do that. A lot.
Your vaginal secretions actually tell you a lot about your fertility.
You know how sometimes it’s clear and sometimes it’s more milky or
white? And the consistency changes. Well you can use this to chart when you’re most fertile and ready to make a baby.
8. Save A Life
Your vagina is basically an Hermione Granger level overachiever. “Oh make life? Sure I’ll do that, and why don’t I just save some lives too while I’m at it”. There is currently a study under way testing using menstrual blood to treat those with congestive heart failure,
by extracting stem cells and creating muscle cells for the heart. It’s
just in trial phases, but it’s further proof that vaginas can basically
do it all.
Images: MatÃas Q.V/Flickr; Giphy (8)